We sat down with Helenea, a former Mission guest and graduate of our recovery program, to hear about her journey into a whole new life. Here is the inspiring testimony she shared with us:
It’s hard to find where to start. I came from a long line of addiction. Everyone in my family was an addict. I had to do a couple years in foster care. There were just a lot of indicators, I can see looking back, that pointed to a high potential of me ending up repeating a lot of those cycles. I think being aware of that is one thing, but to then take steps to break the cycles you feel stuck repeating is a different journey. My drinking got bad during the COVID shutdown. I was in a continuous pattern of picking myself up, then dropping right back down again. I thought, okay, I need accountability. I told family members I was struggling, including my mom. She ended up taking custody of my kids.
I was really sick from drinking all the time, going in and out of detox. The last time I had alcohol, I got close to dying. It was a wakeup call. Plus, I realized how much my daughter was paying attention. I had been making lavender bags one day and she told me, “I like when you smell like this and not like that stuff you drink.” I knew I needed to make a big shift and I was ready. I was having a conversation with a friend one night. This part always makes me cry. I said, “I don’t know how other people are getting through, but maybe I need God because I feel so empty, and I don’t understand.” I was not spiritual whatsoever at the time, so that was out of left field for me. But I said, “I think I need God.” It was my case manager at the time who told me about the Tacoma Rescue Mission. Being at the Mission was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. I felt safe at the Mission and so loved. I was also given the freedom to still be a human being. I made lifelong friends. I left with a great job and reliable vehicle. I have a roof over my head that I’ll hopefully get to bring my kids home to.
It gave me a relationship with God, which is by far the most monumental thing that’s happened. The guilt and shame of all my choices and behaviors sat heavy on me in the program. Brenda, the manager of the program, kept telling me that those are things that happened and things that I did, but that’s not who I am. We all make decisions and bad choices, but that’s not who we are and it’s not how God sees us. It’s easy for people to equate the person with their actions and behavior, but I’ve learned that my identity is a daughter of God and He loves me. To be in a place where I constantly had those positive reminders instead of people with disappointed eyes and animosity was like night and day. I know God knows I want to do as much good as I can. He knows my heart and that I want to be the best mom that I can be. I had a whole family of people at the Mission letting me know I wasn’t alone, I’m loved, and they see me doing good, even if I wasn’t doing my best on some days.
I really want to continue working with the younger generation as much as I can. If I can help kids break cycles or stop the narrative that they’re destined to end up a certain way because of what or who they grew up with, that’s the good I want to do. I want kids to know they have different options and opportunities right now. And they are worth it. I just want to get more and more involved in the community that saved me, that’s my goal. I also want to be the best mom that I can be to my kids and hopefully be able to bring them home soon.
If I can share one more thing, I want people to know that every person is worth it. Putting the time, love, and energy into people who’ve been told they aren’t worth it anymore is one thing we can all do. It doesn’t matter how old or young, everyone needs somebody. That’s what God encourages us to do, 100%. He wants us to love each other the best we can. If we’re all worth it to God, then we can make a point to make sure everyone in our community knows they are, too.
